There is little question that one of the biggest challenges you will face following your divorce in Stockton is not living under the same roof as your kids every day. Being away from them while they are with your ex-spouse can cause you to feel as though your relationship with them is deteriorating. Thus, you will likely want to maximize every minute that you have with them. Many clients as us here at San Joaquin Family Law how they might do this. While we certainly do not claim to be family relationship experts, our experience has shown us certain types of behaviors to avoid.
Chief among these is the temptation to become a “Disneyland Parent.” Per Divorce Magazine, a Disneyland parent is one who solely devotes their custodial time to over-the-top fun and diversion and avoids imposing any rules and restrictions. While there is nothing wrong with enjoying such activities once and a while, filling your parenting time with trips and excursions and avoiding simple family time together can undermine your parental authority. Your kids become accustomed to you giving them everything they want and not having to demonstrate any accountability or discipline when with you. The constant pattern of giving them everything they want contrasts with your intended role as one who has their overall best interest in mind.
Whether intentional or not, being a Disneyland parent can also escalate tensions between you and your ex-spouse. You become “the fun one,” while your ex-spouse becomes the mean authoritarian. Your feelings aside, you and your ex-spouse must collaborate in the raising of your kids, and that means establishing shared standards and expectations regardless of whose home they are in. You can learn more about optimizing your parenting time by continuing to explore our site.