Most people in California who have gotten divorced, are in the midst of a divorce or who are contemplating getting a divorce would agree that there is nothing easy about this experience. When young children are involved, the level of complexity only increases and the challenges begin at the very first moment when parents need to tell their kids that they are getting divorced. How to do this can leave many parents stumped.

Psychology Today encourages parents to prepare what they will share with their children ahead of time so they can ensure they hit the right points. If possible, doing this with the other parent and even telling kids about the divorce together can be very helpful so that kids get a consistent message from both of their parents. This helps provide some stability for children which is essential when so much in their lives will be changing.

Today’s Parent adds that it is important to focus on the emotional needs of kids based on their ages and personalities. Children five or younger will most likely need to have only very concrete facts that pertain to their daily lives shared with them. It is also to be expected that they will need to have repeat conversations about the changes. For these youngsters, stability in their routines will be of the utmost importance.

As children get older, they will attempt to connect some cause and effect to understand why their parents are getting divorced. They might put blame on one parent or even on themselves. Having conversations with these children about this topic is important.