Nothing about divorce is easy. As if it wasn’t painful enough to finally come to the decision to go your own way, the details still have to be resolved. It will take time and a lot of “you time” to work through it.

More than just time, however, is the need to plan. There key things that you can do to make the rest of your journey to a new life a little simpler. There will be many challenges ahead, but with a good plan and the right support you can get through it.

Set your goals

There are going to be many arguments ahead. Some of them are ones that you need to win, and others are less important. If you can keep your focus on what is important to you it will prevent you from being dragged into a fight that saps your energy needlessly.

Friends and family will probably give you a lot of advice in an effort to support you. If they have been through a contentious divorce they might think they are helping by “toughening you up” for the battle ahead. Though they mean well, it may not be the right advice for you.

With a clear focus on your goals and a commitment to staying strong and centered, you can usually get what you need the most. Nothing is more important to your post-divorce success.

Nurture the children

If you have children, they are probably experiencing more emotions than you are. You may have once been out on your own and not entirely secure in life, but they haven’t. Everything is new to them and they have little say in what is happening.

Custody decisions are based on “the best interest of the child.” It is critical that you take some time to understand exactly what that means for your children and their unique situation. They will need additional support and nurturing, too.

They will need you to be their first advocate as the court determines what is in their best interests. 

Take care of business

Your standard of living is going to change dramatically. It is important that you spend some time understanding just what you can afford and what you can expect after the divorce.

Preparing a detailed budget is critical for a good divorce settlement. It may be difficult to imagine all of the details of your life on your own, but everything you can do helps. Whether you have your own business or a job with an employer, be careful to not neglect it too much during this process.

Hand off what you can

An experienced family law attorney should be able to handle many thing for you once you are clear on your goals and expectations. There are a lot of details to a divorce which need to be worked through. This is not the time for you to learn how to handle all of them yourself, all at once.

Your relationship with your attorney starts with a detailed conversation about the topics included here. Be ready to answer questions about your goals, your children, and your finances. It is vital that you can let go of as much as you can so that you can start moving forward with your life.

You’ve made the tough decision already. It’s a matter of seeing it through with the right support and vision. But you have come this far, and with a little careful preparation you can make it the rest of the way.